Pizzatarianism with an anarchist crust.

Pizza is the America of food…everyone loves to hate on pizza until they’re really really really hungry, then pizza sounds fantastic. It’s a combination of all that is good and all that is bad–carbs, meat and veggies–and you can choose to indulge in any combination. It can be incredibly cheap or served by hipsters at a fancy Neapolitan eatery with olives and a side of smugness. But most importantly, it goes great with beer (unless you’re at a fancy Neapolitan eatery, in which case wine is acceptable).

Rule #3: Gas station pizza is acceptable only in certain circumstances, of which there are few.