Pizzatarianism with an anarchist crust.

Pizza is the America of food…everyone loves to hate on pizza until they’re really really really hungry, then pizza sounds fantastic. It’s a combination of all that is good and all that is bad–carbs, meat and veggies–and you can choose to indulge in any combination. It can be incredibly cheap or served by hipsters at a fancy Neapolitan eatery with olives and a side of smugness. But most importantly, it goes great with beer (unless you’re at a fancy Neapolitan eatery, in which case wine is acceptable).

Rule #3: Gas station pizza is acceptable only in certain circumstances, of which there are few.

Yes, pizza populism. You can look it up.

This delight was capicola, some kind of cheese (I think provolone), and some green leafy things. It doesn’t matter. Oh and giardiniera (but fairly weak giardiniera…I like my giardiniera with some goddamn bite to it, and this had none). It was fairly good. Brick oven baked so the crust was pleasant.

Oh the “YUMS” (kale, apple and spinach flavored) and homemade baby food (chicken & mirepoix) in the background my 8.5 month old son enjoyed before ruining dinner 10 minutes in. Barely had time to finish my bottle of wine. Packed up the remainder of the pizza to eat at home. He fell asleep in the car. No naps = cranky baby. QED.

Rule #2: Eat your pizza like a normal person.

Not only are we cultured here at joespizzablog, we’re generally quite witty.

I haven’t had pizza in roughly one week. I’ve had plenty of salads (usually a preface to pizza at most fine buffet-style pizza eateries), but sadly no pizza. Mainly because, let’s be honest folks, a diet exclusively of pizza will make one an obese end-of-career Marlon Brando-esque slob.

Rule #1: Don’t eat a pizza you’re going to regret.

Word of the day: sesquipedalian.

My name is Joe. It is not John Heard. And I like pizza.

I was advised to chronicle my pizza exploits, excursions and explosions. That advice has now come to fruition.

Behold: joespizzablog.