I love the smell of pizza in the morning. -Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore

Posted on by notjohnheard

My first caucus as an Iowan last night…needless to say, given the pizza subsidies the GOP candidates claim to support, I found myself in the cramped little cafeteria [sadly, no pizza to be found] surrounded by likeminded adults with responsibilities & a large tax burden. Unfortunately I had to first wade through the unclean masses, their smug rank wafting into my nostrils and disrupting my otherwise pleasant demeanor with thoughts of hairy armpits and Priuses.

Democrat caucuses function like so: A large gaggle of people with bad haircuts and turtle necks is divided into smaller gaggles via lots of shouting, cheering, and cajoling. “Approximate” numbers of the various minigaggles are tabulated [definite accountability is sorely lacking…shocker]; minigaggles below a certain threshold, 15% I believe, are disbanded to join larger macrogaggles until “clear” winners can be decided and everyone pats themselves on the back for partaking in what is otherwise a smelly pep rally. Everyone gets stickers. Some chose to put them on their face. All in all a quite respectab viable but minus necrotic two cyst like yet le lively crowd.

Republican caucuses function like so:  A moderately sized gathering of amiable, civilized persons sit calmly in chairs while representatives from each candidate give a last-minute endorsement. Everyone quietly, quickly and efficiently writes his or her preferred candidate on a piece of paper and passes it to the center; the votes are collected and counted, and after a brief intermission–during which time people converse in a civil, pleasant manner–the results are read, winner announced, and delegates chosen.  Everyone then quietly disperses in a cordial, professional manner.

“I am become pizza, the destroyer of health.” -Hindu proverb

Posted on by notjohnheard

Great new pizza place on the West side called 7Stone. I can’t vouch for their eat-in atmosphere, beer selection, or their artisan wood-fired crust (which I hear is good), but the “7 stone crust”–called a deep dish but is more accurately a pan-style thick crust–is fantastic, if you’re in-to that sort of uber high-carb greasy thing [which I sure as shit am].

Crust, cheese, toppings, sauce, in that order, so the crust cooks better. And for carry out, they generally refrain from cutting the pizza to allow you to reheat / crisp it up upon arriving home–rightly so.

Worth every carbohydrate & lipid.

7stone

“Ah ! well a-day ! What evil looks Had I from old and young ! Instead of the cross the Pizza, About my neck was hung.” – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Posted on by notjohnheard

This is a great idea though inherently flawed…pizza is like martinis is like breasts, as the comparison once made by Churchill: “One is never enough and three is too many also never enough.” I think we can take a lesson from Derek Zoolander and Flavor Flav here and improve upon this concept…it needs to be at least 3 times bigger…and round.

http://elitedaily.com/envision/portable-pizza-pouch-photos/1230659/

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